Hidden Light
by Terraform
Summary: Donatello and his thoughts on a certain red-headed scientist.
1. Chapter 1

I have been here all day. In front of the computer. For so long now I can feel my head slowly being viced together, along with the feeling of something akin to icepicks piercing the inner corners of my eyes until they scrape the back my skull. But I can't tear myself away, not yet. This is all thanks to a malfunctioning security system, of course. Normally I would just brush the annoyance off and get the task done, I mean, it's really no sweat to fix so long as one of my brothers can do a quick run around the perimeter checkpoints where the micro cams are set up. And normally, that would be it. But today I feel like I have some kind of high level Raphael-like hangover. Or Raphael induced hangover, anyway.

But, it was probably my fault, this awful impending migraine - after sitting at my computer until all hours of the night, I was woken early by the alarms. There was nothing even _vaguely_ threatening on any of the monitors, so I set about running some maintenance routines of the south eastern wing security trips. Normally they detect anything larger than a rat moving in the sewers, but after having sent Mikey to do a test run down there, so far, nada. It was irritating, to say the least, as I could not find fault with the system set-up, and was coming to the realisation that we'd have to go in and physically find and fix the wiring, a task that would be both a pain in the rear and at least a week's work. I had decided to see if any other of the trips were at least activating when correctly triggered and had urged Mikey to also walk down the northern tunnel to see if the cams would pick him up.

"Okay, almost there." His voice crackled over the two-way radio.

Instantly the security alarm sound blared throughout the lair. I flicked a switch to turn it off.

He waved to the security camera, and from the confines of the lair I could see his goofy grin. Then his miming of someone trapped in an invisible glass box.

"Got it, Mikey." I said into the two-way. "You can head down to the SoTows, let's see if we have another problem there."

"Roger, Don. Wilco." The two-way whirred, distorting his reply only a little.

I saw him padding away until he disappeared off screen.

The rest of the surveillance worked like a charm. As per our agreement, I had repaired his beloved ipod, which really just required a software upgrade but I think more to the point was that he just wanted _me_ to do it. I think the searching and waiting aspect of upgrading software was more than he could bear, instead opting to trudge through the sewers. To him that was doing _something_, waiting was doing _nothing_. I had a quick look at his current playlist - Kanye West and Taylor Swift were on high rotation. So typical of my dichotomous brother.

I breathed out a sigh and I dropped some dissolvable aspirin into a jar of water and stared intently as it fizzled out, my mind drifting to endless loops of wire I would later be unravelling. The sound of the alarms going off was not a help.

Ding-_ding_

My chat box chimed as a message popped up on screen.

_Howdy stranger_, it read.

I raised my brow in pleasant surprise. I typed back my reply.

_Hey April. How's things?_

A few seconds passed as my cursor blinked.

_Nothin' much, just at home bored and wanted to know if you needed any help with those systems today. _

I sat back and my swivel chair creaked under my weight shift. I had mentioned running some tests, briefly, a week ago. I guess April had just remembered, and offered her help. She was just so...well considerate. But something more than that.

_Perfect. Just in time. _I pressed enter, and waited.

_Yeah, how so?_

I smiled at the screen, as if she could see me. I hunched over and typed my reply:

_Well, if you want, you could head down here via route 6, I would love to know if those security cameras near Bleecker are activating. I can meet you at the mains so you don't have to walk the rest of the way alone._

A few moments later she replied: _It's a date._

A date? I swallowed hard, leant back and knocked my jar of aspirin water to the floor.

"Cripes..." I muttered. I attempted to sop up the puddle inching towards the power box with some scraps of paper.

_Don...you still there?_

I quickly typed back a reply: _Just wet myself. _

April:_ ?_

I felt myself flush with embarrassment. Why was it lately that I always saying things like this around her? As much as I tried to maintain my calm demeanor, it didn't take much for me look like an idiot.

_Haha, that was not how it sounded - just spilled something on myself._

There was a pause, and I could almost see her doubled over her laptop, laughing. Eventually she must have gathered the strength to type.

_No problems, D. Will see you in twenty._

_See you then_. I added.

I didn't really like the thought of April walking around the sewers whenever she visited, but knew she'd be affronted if she felt like we were escorting her every move. She was funny about that sort of thing. Her independence was hard won and earned, and it was just another thing about her that made her that much more attractive, if I was being totally honest. I pushed the thought aside, and picked up the two-way.

"Mikey, you still there?"

"Yeah, bro." It crackled back.

"You can cut the stroll short, head back down the eastern mains so I can track there. Then we're done."

"Ah, sweet" he sounded genuinely pleased, "I'm almost there. But what about the SoTow tunnel?"

"April's heading over so I'll check it then. You could – ah, pick up some supplies from the market?"

"Okay – but have you got the tab squared because last time I was there they shit kittens over it."

"What? I thought I gave you the money to pay that."

Mikey hesitated, "Uh...you did? 'Cause I don't exactly remember..."

"Right. Just... I'll transfer some money to your card. Settle it when you get there." Collectively we earned a little here and there. The little bit of cash more vital than ever to our survival.

Mikey paused momentarily, "So...I can get anything I want."

"Ah, sure."

"_Anything_?" he emphasized the word in a way that made me break into a cold sweat of worry.

"Within reas-"

"Don?...Don?...you're cutting..out...gotta...go..."

The radio went silent, but minutes later he triggered the East Main tunnel cameras as he walked through.

I held down the radio button, "Thanks Mikey, that one's good to go."

He grinned cheesily towards where he thought the camera was and gave a thumbs-up, then scurried off towards the China town.

I quickly transferred money to our market card for Chang's, the owner of which we had a friendly agreement with. Well, hopefully still had a friendly agreement with. I checked the time. I was running late.

...


	2. Chapter 2

I headed downtown underground, along route 6, geekily going over conversation topics in my head. Normally I find myself doing this when really nervous, and the more nervous I am, the more banal the topics – the weather in Houston on Christmas day for five consecutive years, for example, and how it would be a good predictor for the following years. Yikes, I even bore myself sometimes. Normally, April and I would be firing off each other, both of us being the tech geeks that we are, it was all too easy to slip into a conversation about processors, programming, and even operating systems (I myself being a self-confessed Linux lover). Lately, however, I found myself tripping over my tongue just to get a conversation going. Just the other day, for instance, I was telling April about a neat _semistry chet_ that I had seen advertised for kids– I remember pausing dumbstruck with embarrassment, April had barely suppressed a giggle... until she broke.

"Is it kind of like a 'Sess Chet'?" She said after a bout of melodic laughter. "Hm, actually that sounds kind of dirty."

"Ha ha." I had said sheepishly. Although truthfully, her laugh made me a little giddy, like I'd done something right.

"Just teasing." She had replied sincerely, slapping my arm playfully. I could still feel it tingle, where she had touched me, not to mention the burn of my shame. What can I say? It was confusing.

I stopped briefly to both blush and cringe at the memory, and scanned the tunnels. I was getting close now.

"Don?" her voice came inquiringly from a deep set shadow, she stepped forward into the light and there she was, a woman amongst the dripping, slime-caked sewers like a flower in the brambles. She had worn her cut offs and her old chucks for the trip, a wise choice. She quickly rubbed her arms as if she were trying to dust off the freckles, and smiled as she came closer.

"Hi." I said, trying to sound casual.

"Don," she studied may face, "You don't look so crash hot, you feeling okay?"

"Yeah, well. Just a head ache, I took some more um, some aspirin, and it's getting better."

"Mm." That was it. One syllable, not even a word, but loaded with meaning.

"Anyway," I continued, "it's good to see you."

"And you - Jeez, it feels like I haven't seen you in _ages._"

"Over two weeks." I confirmed.

She breathed in deeply, "I almost missed that smell."

We started walking on the muddy gravel beside the silty streams. Our footsteps crunched, both of us not saying anything.

"I'm sorry I haven't made it down lately…I've just had some issues to deal with at home." She explained earnestly.

"Is everything okay?"

April paused to consider the question: "Yes…and no. It's difficult to explain."

"Well you know where I am when you want to spill the beans." I offered my hand as I helped her leap a large pipe. She took it gratefully, heaving herself over.

She smiled, "Spill I shall. But some other time, maybe."

"As you wish."

"Is Splinter home? I brought some Japanese pickles from this store I found."

"Yeah, he's back home. He just got back from the North Hampton on Friday and ah-" I cut short, as a searing pain ripped through my head.

"Whoa there," she frowned, "are you okay?"

"Argh, I've been better." I said through clenched teeth.

"You know, my friend showed me this neat trick to help with headaches, may I?" She held her opened hands up before me.

"Ah. Sure."

"Okay," she said with a touch of evil glee, "don't be scared."

Standing in front of me she lightly gripped the sides of my head with her fingers and pushed her thumbs up beneath my brow bone, just above inner corners of my eyes.

I gasped as relief coursed throughout my head.

"Holy...crap." I swear I could see stars.

"Pretty good, right?"

"Yeah. Yes." The moment of blissful sensation nearly knocked my off my feet. I staggered back slightly, and tried to gain my balance.

She grabbed my arm to stop me falling.

"Watch it, ninja boy."

"April. I think I need to lie down. Or have a cigarette."

She giggled at that one.

"Good idea. Let's get you back before your head implodes, and I have to explain to your brothers how I broke you."

She looped her arm through mine as we made our way back to the lair, the conversation, much to my relief, flowing easily.

...


	3. Chapter 3

I woke up in my bed, barely remembering even getting into it. My head was buzzing cautiously, free from the pain. On the other side of the room I could see April cross-legged at my workstation, sipping a diet soda. She reached across tapping gently at some of the keys. She put the can quietly down, and continued tapping away in a flurry of muted chatter. The blue glow of the screen reflected off her pale skin, and I lay on my side watching her, captivated.

Sensing that I was awake, she broke the silence.

"I found the problem." She said without turning around.

"What is it?" I said, not missing a beat.

"Here." She pointed to some code.

I squinted at it, but couldn't make out anything wrong.

"I already fixed it. It's not the code, that's fine. Beautiful, actually. It's your circuit breaker. It's faulty."

I closed my eyes again and lay back.

"Splinter will be glad to hear that."

April swivelled around.

"Are you?"

I pondered briefly at her meaning. I went the safe route: "Of course, I'm definitely glad to hear it. I should've seen it." I grinned devilishly, "You're a genius".

"No." She said at length, "Just methodical. I'm… scared of making mistakes." She had a worried look on her face and I couldn't grasp quite why. Instinctively, I tried to put her at ease.

"Don't be scared. The best things come from them."

"You think?" she asked quietly.

"Definitely. Absolutely definitely."

I wanted to tell April that that was how we had come across her…by mistake. A massive one I had made by reprogramming a small robotic mouser to try and lead us to its origin. It proceeded to chomp through half the lair before eventually leading us to her. It scares me to think that it might not have happened.

Instead, she said it for me:

"That's how we met."

I nodded in agreement.

She didn't say much, but I could tell she was holding something back. For a brief moment, I couldn't help but think it was something to do with me.

I paused, and looked around, unable to gauge the hour in our sunless lair,

"What time is it, anyway?"

"Uh," she looked at the clock onscreen, "Seven o'clock. You must've been out for about two hours." She smiled gently at me. I felt my heart skip, but did everything not to let it betray me. "You were sorely missed amongst the land of the living. You should have seen what Mikey brought back from Chang's."

"I'm afraid to ask."

"Let's just say that subliminal advertising is actually working very well on him. And that you're well stocked for the next movie marathon."

We both chuckled.

"You know. It's kind of quiet without you. Even with Mikey here."

If I were Raphael, I'd probably dismiss the comment with a resentful growl, unable to take a genuine compliment. But unlike him, I had grown very comfortable in my own skin, and even though I knew that we'd never belong in the world above, I felt that I'd found my place here: beneath the city's heart, in front of a computer, behind a bo, amongst my brothers. But then April literally fell into our lives and my whole world was thrown off kilter. Firstly because, I suppose, I thought that'd we'd regard each other as no more than acquaintances, brought together by happenstance. But she so quickly disarmed us with her charm and wit and intelligence that I soon began to realise that she meant so much more to me than that. We played off each other as effortlessly as a squadron of birds turning at a point in the sky, careening into a new direction. I don't know if that was how it was for her...but that is what it is like for me. And good God, she was stunning, and I don't think she had any idea how much.

"It seems quieter than usual. Where are the others?" I queried.

"Out. Splinter thought he'd take them on a run after supper. Probably because Mikey complained about doing the dishes."

"Oh."

She got up and knelt beside me, her left arm using the edge of the bed for balance. She was close to me now, so close I could touch her. I almost couldn't help myself, to reach out and brush a stray auburn tress off her face, but I resisted the urge.

"That's better." I told her quietly.

"All the better to see you with." She joked. She rested her hand against my brow. "Well, you don't seem to have a fever, so you got away with just a migraine this time, grandma."

"Argh, I _feel _like a grandma right now. Sorry for being such lousy company."

"Are you kidding? It's always a blast hanging out. And I'm glad we got to the bottom of the security problems. You know, without any distractions..."

"Me too." I agreed. "The alarms break down so often that you'd think it was a cliché plot point."

"Hm," she sniggered, "Pretty much, but don't worry - I'm here to protect you. Well, I can at _least_ hand you your bo." Her eyes sparkled mischievously.

"Anytime, Miss O'Neil."

"Count on it." She said softly.

She was so close now, her eyes serenely on mine.

"YO!" A voice boomed from out in the living area, "We're _back_. Mikey, touch my game and I'll break ya shell in half."

"Raphael!" Splinter chided, "Your brother is resting."

Her demeanor faulted as she heard my brothers in the living room. She turned towards their voices, then back to me.

"Looks like the Calvary's arrived."

"I thought you were already here."

If she blushed she hid it well in the dim room. She sat back on the ground, hands splayed behind her.

"Anyway," she began, "knowing our luck, any kind of rescue would be right in the middle of comparing our favorite internet videos."

I shook my head knowingly, "It's Trollolo, slowed down 800%, hands down."

"No way! How can that compare to the cat jumping on the toddler!"

"Ah, April, you're a sick puppy."

She snorted derisively. "And you're my willing accomplice."

I laughed and she joined me. It was true, when it came to causing trouble, she and I teamed up well. Both Raphael and Mikey still hadn't known what hit them after some of our more elaborate practical jokes. Like the time we rigged Raph's cycle to play Karma Chameleon every time he braked (I nearly lost an eye for that); or when we sent Mikey 'cat facts' to his shell cell – although admittedly that did backfire considering how much he enjoyed reading them aloud to us all. These were purely in retaliation for the multiple stunts they had pulled on us, by the way. Her laughter quietened and she looked down at the ground pensively. I couldn't read her.

"Well, I've got to run along soon." she said at length.

"Casey?"

She shrugged apologetically. "Yeah."

The word sent a wave of emptiness through me, another reminder of an impassable barrier. I pushed the feeling aside, scolding myself for being foolish. We were friends. That was all it could ever be.

"I'll walk you back."

...

Trudging back in the twilight is not so bad if you take the path were the most streetlight pools down into the sewers. We came to near her building, not saying much. I lifted her up the first few rungs, and I could feel the heat off her body. It made me weak at the knees.

"Thanks Don." She leaned back off the ladder, kissing me on the cheek, the clean fragrance of lilac surrounding her. She gazed at me but a moment, which to me felt much longer.

"Bye April."

She paused a moment, "I'll come by tomorrow, if you're not busy?"

I shook my head, my mask tails swishing across my shell.

And just like that she climbed up and out of my life. I made my way back to the lair slowly, and sat back at my computer. I looked up to see my chat window open, and a new message from April:

_Donnie, you make me want to make mistakes. You always have._

And with just those words, my heart burned brightly but only to warm no-one and light nothing but my empty, dark room.

...


End file.
